Her father was the keeper of the wind,
and she, the loving goddess Halcyon.
He sent the sea a-swirling with his hand.
She left his side to wed a mortal man,
the king, Ceyx. Their love was sweet and deep,
unfalt’ring when his ship sank in a storm
and she, devoted, drowned herself in grief.
The gods looked down in pity, to transform
their bodies into two majestic birds,
who made their nests in winter near the shore.
Their dear eggs swept away, again unspared,
she cried to Zeus to calm the ocean's roar.
In tranquil solstice days their love lives on,
The speckled blue-orange Ceyx and Halcyon.
https://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/the-myth-of-halcyon-the-halcyon-days/ (the myth of Halcyon)
and she, the loving goddess Halcyon.
He sent the sea a-swirling with his hand.
She left his side to wed a mortal man,
the king, Ceyx. Their love was sweet and deep,
unfalt’ring when his ship sank in a storm
and she, devoted, drowned herself in grief.
The gods looked down in pity, to transform
their bodies into two majestic birds,
who made their nests in winter near the shore.
Their dear eggs swept away, again unspared,
she cried to Zeus to calm the ocean's roar.
In tranquil solstice days their love lives on,
The speckled blue-orange Ceyx and Halcyon.
https://www.greekmyths-greekmythology.com/the-myth-of-halcyon-the-halcyon-days/ (the myth of Halcyon)
Hi! Please take this as intended: this is a fair draft of a poem, but I don't think you're there yet. Look at all of your adjectives and try to preferably avoid them, by having punch in the nouns and verbs. Improve on "a-swirling". Get metaphors for "sweet and deep". "Until" momentarily makes me think the loves ceased. Be way of the reversals of normal speech - "she, devoted". Shouldn't "down, in pity to" be "down in pity, to"?
ReplyDeleteNow feel free to have a go at one of mine!