the same weight

It rained today,
And I was a pathway
Where no one walked.

The raindrops hit me
Right in the crevices
Between each brick,

Right in all the spaces
Where you weren't.

I want to feel your footsteps
Splashing in the same rain.

Pressed against me,
Silent skin of brick-
I need to hear you crashing
Under the same weight.

You are faith
And I was doubt.
You are light,
And the storm was dark.

Where were you?

The streak of a streetlamp
Pierces the ground.
But I don’t know if I want to be found.

give in

Tickling my neck-

Just out of my reach.
I clench my fist
And it's the feeling in my wrist-
I'm going to give in.

distance

There are oceans between us,
And such great depths inside us.
And if distance makes
The mountaintops turn blue,
I wonder what it means
For me and you.

ghost town

My tongue is hard and black,
Swallowing these words like hot coals.
And my stomach is a pit of ash
Like a ghost town filled with ghouls.

If pencil lead could shoot instead
Of fire from my throat,
I'd write your name in silver flame
Upon a golden scroll.

But I'm breathing out destruction
And I've lost the sacred book.
The ghost town of a dragon,
Still, I'll find you in the smoke.

let you go

My firefly,
Your shining light
Was fading in
The dark of night.

I would catch you in a jar
And we'd blare the music,
Sitting in your car.

My firefly,
I would keep you from harm.
Be your firewood-
Your spark,
If you wanted to be warm.

My firefly,
When you burned out
You burned a hole in my chest,
And I've been trying to fill it
Ever since.

And we both learned that love
Wasn't quite what we thought.
Maybe we were both wrong.

I could never catch you in a jar
And keep you forever.
You were not mine to hold.

And I suppose I thought that if I loved you
I had to let you go.

the words

In writing
I freeze my tears
Into icy spears
And I cut myself
With the words

the only thing

"should i tear my eyes out now?
everything i see returns to you somehow
should i tear my heart out now?
everything i feel returns to you somehow"

-sufjan

everything

I wish I had done everything with you.

insignificant

Turn your ear to me
I want to know You're listening.
But You're invisible
And I'm insignificant.

circles

These thoughts run through my mind
Like a carousel of dark horses.

I'm spinning in circles,
And circles again.
I'm spinning into shadow lands.

And the monsters in the shadows
Are so real tonight.
I can feel tonight.

I'm feeling in circles,
And circles again.
Black carousel,
My only friend.

tonight

i turn on the shower
so that no one can hear me cry
and the water
falls
to
the
floor
like
my
heart
tonight

dewdrops

Together,
We're the light
Shimmering off drops of dew

Cup my hands
To catch the sunrise,
Feelings I don't want to lose.

And the future here seems brighter,
As I watch the sky
Turn blue,

When I think of all the mornings
That I want to spend
With you.

stella d'oro lilies

Stella d'oro sunset,
Splashing in your waterfalls.
You're sounding like a trumpet,
Ringing like a million bells.

Golden fountain bursting,
Bubbling up a tender shoot-
Flowers fading in the evening
And then springing up anew.

You start out as a trickle,
Rippling with yellow wings.
And now you are a river
Overflowing into me.

With open hands, daylily dance
And dying in the night,
You renew yourself eternally,
And I fall into your light.

a little like light

Consuming the darkness
And sipping on shade,
I breathe in the night
And I exhale the void.

In your vacant stare
With those funeral home eyes,
I looked through and saw
Only dead things inside.

So I donned a black dress
And I buried my fear
And I showed you the shadows
Are something we share.

We'll drink in the darkness
Together tonight,
And it's strange how it feels now
A little like light.

this tree

I wish light could shine right through me,
Like leaves in the summertime,
And that you could see these things
Pulsing through my veins.

Glowing and open for all to see,
I'm just one part of this tree,
And if the light hit us all in just the right way
I think we'd love each other more.

goosebumps

You're turning my skin
Into a million tiny canyons.
Adrenaline-
A hundred hikers' views.

If they all felt this rush
Then there would be an avalanche,
But I climb a mountain
Every time I think of you.

butterfly wings

Delicate
In orange and black,
A trembling flame
Upon your back.

Flutter free
From your cocoon
When with a spark
I kiss the moon.

Spirit descending
Through the air
In butterfly wings
And tongues of fire.

jupiter in june

Your fingerprints are craters on the moon,
And I'm glowing like the smallest silver spoon.
If you would stir your tea with me
I'd spin around like Saturn's rings,
And we'd sit on the porch swing
Like Jupiter in June.

renovo bridge

Renovo bridge
With dangling legs,
I sat upon
A lonely ledge.

Three years ago,
The sun shone bright,
In contrast with
My stormy mind.

Renovo bridge,
Staring down at my toes
The river and
The rocks below

Three years ago
Wanting to be gone.
Sometimes it's good
Not to get what you want.

opening

If I'm a cave
Then you're the opening.
You show me, tunneled deep,
That there is light.

And if I'm caving in
Then you can come down with me.
Collapse into the sun
That's come inside.

telescopes

Telescopes
And twisted glass formations
Can draw us deep
Into the distant night.

So teach me how to trace
These constellations
Before they scatter into stardust
With my sight.

monster

The grass is growing,
Grabbing at my ankles.
Edges frayed,
With sharp and jagged angles.

I tear it from the ground,
But higher still it will surround.

This shroud of green,
My efforts vain and feeble.
And here I was longing for rain,
But now I'm slipping under.
The barren ground a forest now,
The foliage a monster.

I'd run away but it was me
Who dug the holes and dropped the seeds.

The grass is growing,
And soon I'll be devoured.

complete

A poem can melt into crevices
I didn't know were there.
Everything I am
And everything you are
Fused together.
Because poetry is all about perfection,
And there are words in you
That make me feel complete.

my avalanche

The summit,
Sun on my face.
Vast, beautiful,
And dangerous-
This mountain force.

Standing on the edge,
I feel power and fear.
Sinking feeling,
Stealing the air
From my chest-
Breathless in the sunset.

The overlook,
With dangling legs.
I feel free in the open space.
Still, to move an inch
Would be my avalanche-
Curse of altitude.

Thinner air
And stronger lungs,
I must resist the pending plunge.
Touch the horizon
But pull back.
Drunk on the view,
Dizzying height.

So far I've climbed,
But this I've learned:
You can't fall unless
You're standing.
Every avalanche begins
With a mountain.

radio

You're a song I can't get out of my head,
Like fingers through my hair.
Twirling every strand,
Unconscious radio of fear.

Repeating the same pattern
In a tapestry of song-
Under my scalp and crawling out
Whenever I'm alone.

My body screams, I rip the seam.
Follow the string, unwind.
I tear this tortured melody
From the fabric of my mind.

enmity

Your malice is magnetic,
My resolve a drop of rain.
And I'm pulled into your orbit-
Like a droplet down the pane.

Your force is strong and simple,
Drawn into a black escape.
Leaving streaks across the window-
Drifting farther into space.

My skin against the metal,
Aligned with stars and enmity.
You're becoming irresistable-
Water droplets, gravity.

thunderclouds

I found my home in thunderclouds,
But they melted into rain.
Now searching, scrambling through the sky
In lightning and in pain.

Sweet drops of solace that I found
From my hands slipping away.
Try to grasp the sorrow and the sound-
Reach out with jagged rays.

My clouds descend to earth in rain,
Still I'm stuck up in the sky.
Now blue and clear, but no one here,
And no place left to hide.

freeze

My words fell down like autumn leaves,
And faded into winter.
I wrote a poem upon the breeze,
A feeble, frosted whisper.

The wind through twisted branches
Shook the colors from the trees-
Did what I say mean anything,
Or will it simply freeze?

So I rummage through the foliage,
The forest of my mind.
Press leaves to scrapbook pages
Before the season's left behind.

waterfall mist

Places where the earth can breathe,
Waterfall mist and ocean crash.
Sunlight peeking through the leaves
Of evergreens and forest paths.

Breathe in the raging water's wind,
To foaming in the aftermath.
The tall trees bend down to listen
When you strike the rocks with your great staff.

Send it pounding, powerful and pure
In blue and green and gray and white.
Inhale the evening, still and sure,
This silent mystery of night.

dragon lungs

The match head meets the striker,
Turning friction into flame.
Is this art or is it arson,
And am I the one to blame?

Icarus into the sun,
With my wax wings I'm rising higher.
Breathing sparks like dragon lungs,
Consuming myself in constant fire.

javelin

I throw my spirits high
Like a javelin spear,
Needle and thread
Though the troposphere,

They gather together
The clouds and sew.
Churning, yearning
Storm clouds roll.

With grays and whites
All intertwined
And spirits starting
To decline,

My javelin
Returns to earth
Rain and thunder,
Clouds disperse.

paper cut

I run my hands
Over ink and madness,
Edges, endings
For my sadness.

I grasp the page
For paper cuts,
Rewrite the book
In my own blood.

The power of prose
To bring us pain-
The way a sentence
Strikes a vein.

My fingertips
I slice right through
When words are sharp,
An easy wound.

I grasp the pages
For relief,
The words are there,
They're striking me.

Words can cut deep,
But not enough.
A simple, sorry
Paper cut.

over the fence

Garden of darkness,
Shade and fern-
I said I loved rain,
That the sun would burn.

Garden of darkness,
But you changed my plans.
You came in like sunlight-
You streamed through the fence.

Petals pointed inwards,
Curled up here
In window shade thicket
And flower bud fear.

Petals pointed inwards,
You peeled them away.
I said I loved rain,
Then you showed me the day.

Under your umbrella
We laughed and the blinds
Were opened, illuminated
In our light.

Under your umbrella
And over the fence,
There's a place where I'm blooming,
A place we can dance.

Garden of darkness,
Petals pointed inside.
Under your umbrella,
Now into the light.

Throw open the gates,
Blooming flower, my soul.
This garden we wander
Together and whole.

Throw open the gates
And I'm finding I'm new.
With darkness behind me
And sunshine of you.

lost

I'm lost here.

Somewhere between acceptance and denial,
Somewhere within the curve of your smile.
Who I am and who I've been,
Where I was I'll be again.

And it's somewhere inside
The ink of this pen-
I just have to move it the right way.
I just need you to stay.

I'm lost here,
Where I've been all along.
Please don't leave me alone.

crest and the crash

The ocean is honest-
It holds nothing back.
Building, releasing,
The crest and the crash.

I feel it in your movements,
The way that you breathe.
If water is transparent,
Why are you dark and deep?

salt water

Salt water scars,
The kiss of the sea-
I went to the ocean
And you saw all of me.

Traced a line in the sand
But you washed it away,
Consumed me inside
The crash of your gaze.

I can't hide from the ocean,
So wide and so deep-
Gash in the land
On the globe of my skin.

With your tender touch
Made smooth and made free-
Somehow we're made new
When the old is simply seen.