its not raining

It's not raining today.
My tears don't hit the ground-
Locked up behind my eyes,
Waiting to be set free by some sort of emotion.
This prison swirls around my head-
A painless vagueness that won't let me go.
I need to wake up from all of this,
But I don't want to get out of bed.
Because it's not sunny today either.
Neither joy nor pain-
Where I am all I see is gray.
It's like the moment after the rain-
I can see the sun, but I can't see what it's doing
Because everything is still all wet.
The water still clings to everything
And the light's not yet strong enough to lift it.
And that's how I feel.
Lying here it clings to me,
Yet I reach out and grasp nothing-
A strange mix of empty and weighed down.
It makes no difference whether it's sunny or raining.
I'm still here-
I just don't know where I went.