to touch the thunder

You wanted to touch the thunder,
To throw lightning from your hands
And gather the rain in your arms.
You wanted to extinguish
The roaring fire you felt inside,
So you created a thunderstorm
To roar even louder.

But did all your efforts turn your skies to blue?
Your pouring rain
Managed to mute the flame,
But it seems you have exchanged
Your smoky air for smoky skies,
Billowing clouds and ceaseless shade.

Yes, you wanted to touch the thunder
And you did.
You grabbed ahold and didn't let go,
Because thunder feels like a hunger,
An aching and quiet burning
Never satisfied.

Building, building
Into something electric,
Something malevolent.
You feed on the anger and it lashes out,
Lightning from your hands.
Is this how it feels to have control?

You gather the rain in your arms,
As it drops from your eyes.
It seems you have only traded fire for fire,
And you're still left with only ashes.
You wanted to touch the thunder,
And you became the storm.