summer camp

The Friendship Series
Installment 5: (I don't remember her name)


Once a girl told me my name couldn't possibly be Sarah
because I wasn't blonde.
Do princesses only come in one color?
I asked myself and frowned.

Meeting your expectations
was like trying to spread cold butter on a piece of toast.
I later found crumbs of myself
all over the floor from the attempt.

In reality I've found it's difficult
to cut yourself with a butter knife.
I've since disassembled a lot of razors,
but that's beside the point.

When I worked retail in an amusement park,
some customers remarked ironically
"You're the happiest employee we've seen all day"
while I was thinking of ways to die.

Since birth it seems,
people have constantly told me just how happy I am,
commenting on my "contagious" smile
til I considered it a germ.

At summer camp, that girl who said
my parent's named me wrong
asked me how I was so happy all the time-
I probably grinned and shrugged.

She didn't see the tears
that had been streaming down my face
the whole time we'd been talking,
and that's probably what hurt the most.

I don't fault her though-
it was midnight when we walked back to the cabin.
For all she knew, I could have been blonde
in that early lack of lighting-

Could have actually deserved my name,
if someone would just stop to listen!
I might let him see me in the sun-
leave the butter out to soften.